Blue Envelopes
by SaveTheWorldGetTheGirl
Summary: Set just after Jac returns from America. She has been getting letters from somebody from her past, but how will she react when they tell of a person's arrival? But this isn't the only unexpected guest... So I set it as rating T, but it might end up M, I will change it though if it does xD
1. Hides it Well

**Hi guys, this is my first fanfiction EVER, so be kind haha, constructive criticism is very welcome and I would love reviews :) xx**

The alarm clock was a rude awakening to Jac, who had been in a deep and dreamless sleep and enjoyed being back in her own bed after coming back from America. She got out of bed, flinching slightly at the coldness of her bedroom floor on her feet before putting on her slippers and grey cardigan. She walked through to the kitchen, oblivious to the pile of post waiting for her by the door; flicking the kettle on grumpily, a yawn which had been slowly rising finally escaped. She smashed the mug down from the cupboard, the sound making her jump slightly and she put the coffee in with less anger, so as to not spill any on her counter-top. Finally she sat down in the living room with her coffee, but no sooner had the hot liquid touched her tongue a strong sense of nausea hit her and she rushed to the bathroom.

Her ginger hair was scraped back into its usual pony tail, although it was looking a lot lighter after being in the sun, and had a less fiery look about it. Her make–up was immaculate even though her smoky eyes matched her mood. However this was the only sign that she wasn't feeling herself; whilst in America she had taken the chance to go sight seeing, but more importantly shopping. The impression was to her colleagues that she was not interested in the fashion world, not knowing where her clothes were made or who by; this was not the case anymore. After being embarrassed over a pair of heels twice now (Jayne and Sahira), she vowed to update her wardrobe. America was the perfect opportunity. A smart-casual black blazer lay on top of cream and black, sleeveless, silk shirt; skinny black ankle skimmers emphasised her 'skeletor' frame in a good way and glossy black three inch heels were a welcome addition to her 'average height' 5 ft 4 body.

She grabbed her car keys from the side near the coat-stand, and noticed the post on the floor. Her eyes immediately registered the light blue envelope with her address written on it beautifully and exactly central. She put all her other post to one side and let a smile play on her lips for a moment before ripping open the envelope.


	2. The First

Ten Months Earlier...

Jac opened the door to her flat, coming home from a night shift and wanting desperately to go to bed. She noted the post and put it on the side, however dropping one letter by her feet; she thought the letter looked a bit strange: for one it was in a blue envelope, like a birthday card. She loved that colour blue, it reminded her of... well, never mind him now. She picked the envelope up off the floor and recognised the writing, she almost dropped it down again in shock. Instead of going to bed like she had originally planned, she took the letter with her to the kitchen and made herself some coffee. She sat down at the table and hesitated before opening the letter.

_Dearest Jac,_

_I know we agreed that it would be best if we did not contact each other, but I just miss you so much. I know a letter seems like a strange way to get in touch but I find that an email would be far too impersonal and a phone call would have meant listening to your voice, which would have been heartbreaking for me._

_I have so much to tell you! Penrith is beautiful Jac, it was the perfect place for Harry and I to move to, although I do miss Holby. I have been meaning to come a visit, but I always seem to back out at the last minute, I haven't even visited my mother there, although she has come here of course. Anyway, the GP surgery where I am working now is nice, very relaxed not at all stressful, I don't think that you would appreciate that though, all those years as a surgeon! No definitely not exciting enough._

_Harry is doing well, not looking as much like Churchill! He is so big it is crazy, I remember holding him for the first time and he was so small, you should see him now Jac; he chatters away and laughs it's fantastic._

_Although I wish you were here, I know that you did what you had to do, as did I. I hope that you will write back, I would love to hear from you and hear how you are and what is going on at Holby._

_I miss you._

_Love from_

_Joe_

_x_

As Jac read this, her eyes welled up. She was so glad to hear from him, even if it had taken this long, although, she thought to herself, you didn't make the effort to get in touch either Jac. She decided that she would write back, just not right now, she needed to sleep. She went into her room with the letter and put it under her pillow, before climbing into bed and falling asleep happy for the first time in months.


	3. Unwanted Attention

**Thank you for the reviews I really appreciate any and all feedback :) I will try and update regularly, but I am literally posting as I write. Hope you enjoy this part and I will be grateful of your honest opinions either as reviews or private messages XD xx **

_Present Day_

Jac read the letter over and over again; she couldn't quite believe it.

Since Joseph had sent her the first letter, she had seen him a few times, visiting his home in Penrith. She saw the beauty he had written about, but also felt the boredom of his life now, even with Harry. She loved seeing him though, even if it was just friendly visits; they had decided not to resume their relationship as Jac still didn't want to leave Holby and Joseph, well Jac thought he was happy in Penrith.

This was not the case however as Jac reread the part that said he was coming back to Holby; that although Penrith was nice, he wanted to be closer to his family now that Harry was getting a bit older, but not only that. After all of her visits he felt pain every time she left and realised that he would never fall out of love with her. This was the part that continued to go through Jac's mind as she left for work.

Her feet were hurting by the time she reached the lift and she was regretting the choice of shoes already. She couldn't wait to get into theatre so she could change into scrubs and trainers. Jonny's eyes followed her as she walked past the nurse's station, although she didn't look at him directly, just noticed as the chair swivelled round. She remembered the last time she had seen him before she left; guilt consumed her as she thought about the letter once again. She walked faster towards her office, not listening to whatever he had to say. She pushed open the door and found Elliot and Oliver talking, both stopping however when she entered the room to take a look at the new look of Jac.

"Jac! Welcome back! Did you enjoy America?" was Elliot's cheery greeting, whilst Oliver continued to stare.

"Yes thank you Elliot, Oliver, you are going to catch flies if you continue to gawp." Oliver immediately closed his mouth, not realising he was even doing that in the first place.

"Ms Naylor, I was… I was just asking Mr Hope about a patient. So America was good then? Yes, well, I'll just be off." Oliver scurried out of the office to find Tara.

Jac sat at her desk and took off her shoes. Elliot left the office with a pile of papers, waving to Jac and telling her it was nice to see her and he would talk to her later so she could get settled back in. She smiled falsely back, instead thinking about Oliver's reaction. Was it really that noticeable? Maybe he was staring at her outfit, and not the small bump that was beginning to show a little, but not particularly obvious unless you were normally stick thin. She turned on the computer to distract her from her thoughts, and opened her emails. She opened one from Hanssen, only scanning it, not really taking in its contents until she realised it was telling her about the arrival of a new registrar. She couldn't help but think Darwin had enough staff already with the new transplant team. Mo would be having the baby soon though, maybe this was a replacement for her while she was on maternity leave, and they would just stick around; she decided that she really could not understand Henrik Hanssen, but then who could?


	4. Finding Somewhere Solitary Can Be Hard

**Hey guys! I get really excited when I see that people are liking it xD So thank you to RosePetalsJar, SaintJacTheGingerNinja and Gillian Kearney Fan, and everyone else who has read it :) Please leave more reviews, I love seeing them and if you don't like it, tell me why? Hopefully I can change your opinion! xD xx **

Avoiding the prying eyes of everyone on Darwin, Jac stayed in her office for most of the morning, only coming out once to get changed into scrubs. However, when an RTA patient arrived needing attention, she had to face the music. Jonny saw her leave and jumped out of his chair then followed her to the trolley that was being wheeled in. Jac didn't even look at him as she took the patient's notes, although she felt her heart beat a little faster as he got closer to her. She told the porters to take him to theatre and summoned Oliver over to her, aware that Jonny was still stood by her side.

"Valentine, you're assisting. Go!" she watched him almost run towards the theatre before turning to Jonny.

"Did you want something?" she raised her eyebrow at him

"We need to talk" he said, the most serious she had ever heard him.

"Actually, I need to go and sort out that guy's heart and you, well you can go back and be nursey." She turned to walk away, but Jonny rushed in front of her. She realised he wasn't going to leave her alone any time soon.

"Fine, meet me in my office at the end of the day. Now if you'll excuse me." She stormed away quickly, not wanting him to see worry flash across her face.

"Ms Naylor, he's gone." Oliver looked nervously at Jac, who still had the paddles in her hands, ready for another attempt. She looked at him before throwing the paddles down.

"Time of death, 17:13." She pulled off her apron and her cap, and scrubbed her hands. She was soon joined by Ollie, who just looked at her. She kept her head down so he wouldn't see the tears that had escaped.

"I closed him up."

"Thanks" her voice was shaky; Oliver recognised this and kept quite. She soon left him alone and chose to hide in the toilets for a while instead of going back to her office, where she was sure Elliot would be waiting for her with his cheery face full of doughnut.

She was disturbed just before she reached the toilets by her pager; Hanssen was calling, just what she needed right now. She quickly went into the toilet to get rid of the evidence that she had been crying, and proceeded to his office. Her sharp, white knuckles knocked twice before she was told to enter.

"Ah Ms Naylor, sit down please." He nodded to the seat in front of him. She sat down, feeling a bit uncomfortable to say the least.

"I hope you enjoyed the trip. Was it valuable?" Jac looked up, for she had been concentrating on his extraordinarily tidy desk, which reminded her of Joseph, one of the many things that had today.

"Er yes, actually I have some things that I would like to talk to you about that could be implemented here-"

"Another time Ms Naylor. I assume you have read your emails today, and are aware of the new registrar Darwin is to welcome." Jac nodded, however she was losing interest as he had cut her off.

"Yes well, I don't actually mean new, a better term would be 'returning' Mr Byrne will be returning to Darwin."

"What? Joseph is coming back to work here? I thought he meant he was going to be a GP here! He didn't mention this in his letter… wait, when is he coming back?" this was too much for Jac right now.

"He will have his first shift tomorrow, and I was going to ask you to reacquaint him with the hospital, and everyone. Is there a problem?" she was looking very nervous now, a contrast to the usual icy exterior she was fashioning before she had left for the states.

"No, no problem." He gave her a disbelieving look before signalling that she could leave.

"Oh, and Ms Naylor; congratulations." He looked towards the small bump, that was just visible behind her dark blue scrubs. She felt the tears resurfacing so she opened the door and left as quickly as she could.

She practically ran down the corridor; not looking back at anyone, even when she heard Sacha's friendly hello, she did not turn her head. She saw Elliot leaving their office, so she would be safe in there for a while. She let herself fall into her office, ready to collapse into her chair, but somebody was there waiting for her.

"Hello Jac, somethin' you wanna tell me?" Jonny, of course.


	5. Making Me Crazy

**Thanks for reviewing everyone, and I am so glad you like it :3 xx**

"So, you're pregnant…"

"What no this?" She pointed to her bump, "I just let myself go a bit, all those super-size meals, you know." She pushed past him to sit down at her desk.

"Funny. What I wanna know is: is it mine or Joseph's?" She looked up at him; he had placed himself behind Elliot's desk and was holding the blue envelope in his left hand.

"You had no right, NO RIGHT, to read that." She realised she must have left it on her desk after reading it again when she was 'reading' another of Tara's projects.

"I asked you a question, Jac! Whose is the baby?"

"I don't know!" she put her head in her hands and began to sob. Jonny swept his hand through his hair before throwing the letter down. He was going to feel guilty about this later, but right now he just needed time to think; he stormed out of the room, leaving Jac the most vulnerable he had seen her; she was thinking about everything that had happened.

_Three months ago she had been to visit Joseph and one thing had led to another after they reminisced about events at Holby. Afterwards they both agreed to forget about it and said it would definitely not happen again. Jac was angry that she had let herself do that. It wasn't that she was over Joseph; certainly it was the contrary, more that she had accepted that they would only ever be friends while they had different paths to follow. It was because of this that she 'fell' for Jonny's charm at the anger management course. _

She heard the door slam shut behind him and lifted her head. The truth was she had an idea whose it was; she hadn't slept with Jonny long enough ago. That's what she was telling herself anyway. She couldn't be sure though, with her tiny frame she would definitely show earlier. She took her phone from her bag and searched for Joseph's number in her contacts and pressed 'send message'

_'I got your letter this morning. Are you in Holby already? We need to talk. Jac x' _

_'Yes I got here not long ago. What's wrong? Do you want me to meet you at your flat? When does your shift finish? Joe x' _

_'Meet me there in an hour. X'_

She took the mirror from her bag and sorted out the mess her mascara had made, and then fixed her hair. Leaving her office, she saw Jonny with Mo, who looked over at her; Jac put her head down, feeling guilty. She stopped thinking about Jonny as she changed back into her normal clothes; she didn't even think about how much the heels hurt her feet. Instead she thought about Joseph; how was he going to take this news? She worried about this all the way home. She put the key into her door and pushed it open, sitting down on her sofa she couldn't help but think that today had been such an emotional drain on her; 'thanks for making me crazy' she told her baby quietly, without thinking what she was doing.


	6. Past Caring

**HI! :) thanks for the reviews everyone :) xx**

He knocked on her door a few times before she reached the door; she had been changing into something that didn't reveal her bump, so he wouldn't be as shocked when he saw her. She opened the door to a worried-looking Joseph, dressed in a dark blue shirt and jeans.

"Hi, are you okay?" he had been panicking since she didn't really tell him much in the text.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just wanted to talk to you before tomorrow. Anyway, come in!" she welcomed him inside and followed him into the living room.

"I made food." Joseph looked at her, standing there with a silly, nervous grin on her face.

"Oh, is it edible? I thought I could smell burning when I came in!"

"Very funny. I think you will be pleasantly surprised actually. Do you want a drink?" He nodded, and she came back from the kitchen with a glass of wine for him and water for her. She saw him looking at her glass, so she changed the subject before he could mention that she wasn't drinking.

"So, the letter..." She sat down next to him on the sofa, and put her drink on the glass coffee table. He avoided looking at her straight away and instead of replying, he moved her glass on to a coaster alongside his own. She smiled at this and then asked the question which had been burning inside her all day.

"Did you mean what you said? When you said that you still loved me?" he looked up at her and smiled.

"Yes. I never stopped loving you Jac." he clasped her hands in his, and in that moment, everything was perfect for Jac. That was, until she realised she had to tell him now.

"I love you too," He went to kiss her but she moved away, "but I have to tell you something." Jac had to do this, she had screwed things up with her and Joseph so many times, she had lied and cheated, but now she was going to be honest with him, and she would face the consequences, no matter what they were. He kept hold of her hands, his sign for her to carry on; he didn't care what she had to say.

"After we slept together, when I visited you, I just... I missed you and I was angry because I thought it had meant nothing to you," he opened his mouth to speak but she carried on, "wait, I know it's stupid but that's what I thought at the time." her voice was shaking and all he wanted to do was pull her into a hug, but she wouldn't move; she was adamant that she would tell him.

"Joe, I've been sleeping with someone else. It's happened three times. I didn't hear from you after we... so I didn't think you wanted to see me any more...Joe, I... I'm pregnant, and I don't know whose it is." She was crying now, and he noticed he had let go of her hands. Seeing her like this though, made him realise that he didn't care about what she had done; he didn't even care that this baby might not be his. All he cared about was her. He pulled her into his arms and let her rest her head on his chest. She started to mumble about how sorry was, but he just shook his head.

"Jac, I understand, and it's my fault: I should have told you how I felt earlier," he wanted to change the subject, Have you had a scan yet?" she replied without lifting up her head.

"No, I didn't find out that long ago and I wanted to talk to you before I did anything."

"How about tomorrow, you go and have a scan, and you can decide what you want to do" this time she looked up at him.

"Will you come with me?" she sounded like a scared child.

"Of course I will," he kissed the top of her head, "but there is one condition." She sat up straight and looked at him nervously, "can I please try this 'marvellous' dinner you have prepared for me?"


	7. What ifs'

**Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't updated for a bit: COURSEWORK IS KILLING ME :( erm I hope you like this chapter, it's a bit longer than my others but yeah, enjoy and review xD xx**

Jac woke up to the sound of her alarm clock, not hating the sound as much as she had yesterday when she turned around to see Joseph stirring next to her.

"We have to buy you a new clock!" he said as he hit it, turning it off.

"I know, but hey! Good morning!" she kissed his cheek and got out of the bed, "I'm going for a shower, so feel free to get breakfast and coffee," he stayed lying down in the bed, just turning to face her, "or you could stay in bed, Although I've heard your boss doesn't approve of latecomers." She gave him a cheeky wink and walked out of the room, leabing him staring at the doorway.

In very little time they were stood at the door. Jac had opted for a pale blue shirt and black cardigan, with black pants and the smart option of flat dolly shoes. Joseph was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, but they were going to stop off at his house for him to change, as well as pick up Harry who was with Joseph's mother. Unsurprisingly, she had been less than happy to discover the real reason for Joseph's return; although as long as he was back, and she could see her grandson more often, she would hold back her hatred. They drove to work together in his new car: a black jeep; it suited country and family life Joseph said. Jac didn't really care about cars – her passion was for her bike, even after the crashes she'd had. Now she was pregnant she was saddened to realise she wouldn't be riding for a while.

Jac stayed in the car while Joseph went inside to change and get Harry; she was sure Lady Byrne would not want to see her, and she certainly didn't want her to know she was pregnant and the child might not be Joseph's. After a while Joseph came out of the house carrying Harry in his car seat and wearing a classic black suit, blue shirt and black tie. He strapped Harry into the seat and they were soon off again. Neither of them spoke much on the journey, Jac was looking very pale and anxious; today she was going to find out who was the father of her baby. Joseph was also quite nervous this morning; he didn't know how he would feel if the baby wasn't his. He loved Jac and kept telling himself that if the baby wasn't his it didn't matter, the way things were going he and Jac were together and they could have children together when they were ready. He wasn't even sure if Jac wanted to keep this baby; she had never been the most maternal of people and she certainly would not like to give up her career for this. Jac had been thinking about this a lot too. She wondered whether she really was ready for a baby; in the last year or so she had been acting like less of a 'robot' and more vulnerable to her emotions. The whole thing with Freya had made her think that she was ready to invest emotionally into a child of her own. Then again, she had only recently been made consultant, and if she were to have this baby, how would it affect her career? She did not want to become like Sahira; always putting one thing first.

They finally arrived and walked hand-in-hand through the car-park to the main building. Joseph had a meeting with Mr Hanssen this morning, before being set free in Darwin with Jac. They got into the lift together and Joseph got out first, after kissing Jac on the cheek and telling her he would see her soon. Once again Jac felt less confident walking on to Darwin with this bump; she was embarrassed at the way people would stare at her, and worst of all she did not want to see Jonny right now. What was happening? This was her ward. She was once Queen of Darwin; now she all she wanted was to hide away in her office and wait for the Joseph. Elliot wasn't in today, so she could have the office to herself. However, once again Jonny followed her in there.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." He said quietly, Jac looked at him, quite shocked that he had apologised.

"Yeah, me too, don't tell anyone I said that though," they both smiled nervously, trying to act normally in this situation was not easy for either of them, "I'm going for a scan at lunch, and it will tell me how far I've gone, and from that I will be able to know who is the father."

"Okay, keep me informed though. Do you want me to go with you?" he felt like he had to make up for leaving her yesterday. She shook her head,

"Err no I'll be fine. Actually, I wanted to talk about that. Joseph is coming back to work here… today. You and I, we were a mistake and I was just confused about things but I love Joseph, and I want to be with him. I don't really know what you and I were, but I'm sorry. We still need to sort something out though, if the baby is yours." He just stared at the floor. Before she had gone off to America, he was sure he was starting to feel something for Jac, but now it was all over. He wished he didn't feel like this; it was nothing, they hadn't even been together properly.

"Okay. Talk to me after your scan." He left the room without looking up at her. She sat down in her chair feeling rubbish.

The morning was quite dull, Jac had no surgery, and instead was showing Joseph around, not that he needed to be shown round; he could remember everything. He was however happy to see his old friends again and also meet some new faces. Throughout this though, they both only had one thing on their minds. They had managed to get an appointment and as soon as lunch started, they went down for the scan. On the way, Jac decided to talk to him about her concerns.

"Joe, what if… it's not yours?"

"We can figure that out when we find out Jac." He said kindly,

"Okay. Joe, what if I'm not ready for this? I mean, I'm hardly mother material am I?" she continued with lots more questions and by the time they had reached their destination Joseph was laughing at how child-like she was. She looked at him for a minute and then started laughing herself. They walked into the room together holding hands: prepared for anything.

**Okay, I wanted to reveal who the father is in this chapter, but it was getting quite long... I promise in the next chapter you will find out so please keep reading :) xx**


	8. The Eyes Say it All

**HI y'all! Hope you enjoy this chapter, thanks for your reviews and sorry I haven't been posting as often: results day, coursework and personal statement taking up all of my time :( xx**

Joseph smiled at her as she lowered herself on to the bed. She flinched from the cold of the gel and scowled at the midwife who said "oh, yes forgot to mention it's a bit cold" and then giggled. However she soon calmed down when she saw the image of her baby come up on the screen.

"From the size here, I would say you are eight and half weeks." Jac didn't really register this; she was too busy becoming emotional over the black and white blob that was her child.

"Two months" Joseph said quietly, and with a sad tone to his voice; it was Jonny's baby.

"What?" She didn't move her eyes away from the screen, they were brimming with happy tears.

"As far as I can tell the baby is healthy at this stage, you can have another scan at twelve weeks, so book an appointment at the front desk. I will leave you two for a minute." Added the midwife seeing the looks on their faces, which were completely contrasting.

Joseph stood for a while looking at Jac who was completely engrossed with the image on the screen, a broad smile on her face making her green eyes light up. His on the other hand had never looked so dull, his usually brilliant blue eyes had become so sad that it was as though grey clouds had come out, covering up the blue and sky and the light that was the sun.

"So I guess you want to keep it then?" he asked her slowly.

"What? Yeah, I mean, I think I'm ready for this Joe. I know it's not yours but, this baby and I are going to be a part of your life," she turned to look at him and noticed that he wasn't smiling along with her, "if that's what you still want? Do you not want that?" she was starting to become anxious.

"Yes of course, I said I love you Jac, and I accept this baby will be part of our lives, but this also means that Jonny will have to be too." he did not look happy at all, and this turned Jac's good mood right round.

"I know but, you can handle that surely Joe? Harry isn't mine and I am going to be expected to be a 'stand-in mother' for him!" she was slowly becoming angry at him, and all she wanted to do was get away from here. He realised that he had made her upset but he wasn't sure how he felt; he had been so sure that the baby was going to be his, and now he was hurt that he and Jac were not going to have a child together, the one thing he wanted most in the world. They both waited in silence for the midwife to come back, and it was a good job she didn't take very long because the tension was beginning to grow in the room.

"All righty then, you can go now, I will see you again in four weeks time! Don't forget to make your appointment love." they left the room watched by the smiley-masked midwife, who could tell there was something wrong now that they both walked out of the room sulkily, no longer holding hands.

They walked to the lift in silence and stood uncomfortably for a few seconds together before Jac getting out at the next floor, saying she had to get something to eat, but he could go on back to Darwin. He watched the doors shut her out as they came together. What on earth had just happened? He was so happy... they were so happy, before he had ruined it, and by he, he didn't mean himself... he meant Jonny.


	9. Father of My Child

**Hiiii :) I'm so sorry about the random updating, my coursework is nearly finished so they should be more regular. Anyway, thanks for the reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter :) xx**

Jonny and Joseph had barely spoken to each other on introduction. Mainly because Jac wanted to keep the peace for once and so had ushered Joseph away to go and speak to Sascha before either of them could say anything to each other about the situation they were in. However, as Joseph came back on to Darwin, he saw Jonny sat at the nurses station without his best friend Mo, and this time, there was no Jac to stop him.

"Erm, Jonny isn't it?" Jonny nodded at him with a nervous smile, Joseph smiled back before punching him between the eyes. Jonny fell backwards into the other side of the next and slid to the floor clutching his nose that was now bleeding. Joseph looked scared; what had he just done? What was wrong with him today? He walked away from Jonny as quickly as he could not looking back. He reached the lifts and they opened to reveal Jac, munching on an apple. She looked at him for a moment as she got out of the lift, then tried to link his arm with hers, but he pulled away, looking ashamed.

"Joe? What's wrong? What's happened?" he didn't say anything just ran into the lift and pressed the down button before she could get in it again herself. She thought about going after him, but she wanted to find out what had happened first. She didn't have to walk much further into Darwin to discover what had happened. She ran over to Jonny who had by this time stood up and was busy locating a tissue for his nose, but couldn't he couldn't see with his eyes still watering. She pulled one out of a box close to wear she was stood and handed it too him.

"Thanks." She led him to her office and sat him down in Elliot's chair, and she sat down in her own.

"Did Joseph do that to you?" he nodded as best as he could whilst dabbing at his nose with the tissue. Her green eyes glittered behind the tears that rose; why would Joseph do this? Hadn't he said he loved her? What did it matter that this baby wasn't his? Why did she sleep with Jonny anyway? This was all her fault, once again, Jac Naylor had messed up.

She was sobbing heavily at this point, so Jonny walked round to her desk and put his arms around her. His nose had stopped bleeding and there was a huge bruise forming around the dried blood. He hadn't heard the thoughts that were circulating in her head, but he knew there was something more to her crying at a bruise on his face. He moved round slowly and sat on her desk.  
"So, you gonna tell me what's wrong?" he still had his arms on her shoulders, and they weren't shaking as much as before.  
"I've messed everything up with Joe and with you… and although they don't know it yet, I'm going to mess everything up with this baby too."

"Jac, you really haven't messed things up with me, and don't doubt your abilities as a mother, I'm sure you will be fantastic… no matter how icy you are here." He gave her a cheeky wink as he lifted her head up with his fingers, "Joe will figure things out soon, don't worry about it. I'm guessing the news at the scan wasn't too good for him?"  
"Oh G-d Jonny!" She looked at him nervously, remembering that she hadn't told him the news.

"Am I going to be a dad?" her face softened behind the tears and she let slip a small smile.  
"Yes. Oh dear, Jonny the 'neurosurgeon': father of my child!" the sarcasm wasn't as good as usual as she couldn't keep a straight face while Jonny was beaming in front of her. She wiped away her tears and gave him a quick hug back. It was of course, as this point, that the door to the office opened, and Joseph decided to join them.


	10. Who's to Blame?

**Hi everyone! Hope you enjoy this chapter, please review :) xx**

"Jac, what's going on here?" She had quickly prised herself from Jonny and was walking slowly towards Joe.  
"I was just telling Jonny about the scan, but I see he already got the news from you!" Jonny had backed away to the window; he did not want another meeting with Joseph's fist, although he was ready for him this time.

"I was angry okay? First, I just have to accept that you slept with this idiot, next, the baby that should have been mine isn't, instead it's that guy's, and now, I walk in here and you two-"

"I was hugging him for goodness sake!"

"Well I don't know what to think do I?"

"You said Joseph, that you loved me, and that you didn't care about Jonny. I slept with him because I was upset over you! You used me in Penrith Joe, is it any wonder I came back here, feeling bad about myself?" She was quickly losing control of her emotions.

"Typical bloody Jac, jumps into bed with someone to get at Joe." Joe replied scoffing. *SLAP* Joseph touched his cheek where her palm had met it. Both looked at each other, guilt showing on their faces.

"Joe…"

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that, I don't know what came over me," tears were beginning to form in his eyes along with the ones that were already falling down Jac's face, "I wanted a baby with you Jac. All of those years, wasted on hurting each other, I just wanted us to be happy."

"We can be happy Joe! I don't want to hurt you anymore. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore," she said more quietly, "I think I should get rid of the baby."

"WHAT?" they had both forgotten about the Scotsman, who had now turned to face them.

"I think it's for the best. I'm not ready for this, and Joe and I are just getting back together. I don't think it's fair on you either Jonny. I just used you and this is the consequence, I don't want to bring up a child in this mess!"

"Do I not get a say in this? It's MY baby too! Yeah, you used me, so I think we should discuss this properly before you make any rash decisions Jac."

"It's my decision and it's final."

"So, what? Just because you have one argument you're going to deny me- no, deny yourself of this child? I know you want it really Jac, and I'm not about to let you ruin this opportunity!"

"You don't know what I want at all! This is such a mess!" Of course Jonny knew what Jac wanted; Jac's judgement was just clouded right now by the reappearance of Joseph, a man who she thought she loved.

"I support you whatever you want to do Jac. I know it hasn't looked like it before now but I really do." Joseph said quietly, like a little suck-up, thought Jonny.

"You tell her it's because of her! It's you! You have messed this situation up!" Jonny was really angry now; he pushed Joseph into the door, and walked out of the room. Joseph went to hold Jac but she moved away; everything Jonny had said was right. Joseph stormed out of the room now too, in the opposite direction to Jonny leaving Jac alone. It was up to her to make the decision about the baby, but to do this she had to answer the question: which man could she really trust?

**P.S sorry if I am making you hate Joe a bit D: **


	11. Jonny

**Hey guys :) Thanks for all the reviews, hope you enjoy this chapter xD xx**

Jonny sat with the heavily pregnant Mo at the nurses station until the early hours of the morning. While he was at work he could forget what was going on in his own life and instead distract himself with the lives of the patients and the other staff. He hadn't yet told Mo that the baby was his, although she knew the rest of the story. He couldn't hind anything from her, she was his best friend, and so that night as he took her home he told her the news.

"So, I'm a dad." he said casually, as he walked her from his car up her path.

"What?! No way! When did you find out and why are you only just telling me?!"

"Well, the thing is, she doesn't know whether she wants to keep it." he answered in a more dull tone.

She had had to get a taxi home that evening; she hadn't taken her car this morning, she remembered sadly as she watched Joseph drive away from the window on the stairs, very much like when he had left her at Holby alone. Joseph hadn't really spoken to her that much after their 'discussion' in her office, only when he was assisting her in theatre had they uttered words to one another. She could see why he was angry. Why had she pushed him away? The answer wasn't as simple as it used to be when it was just her nature to push away those whom she loved. Jac had changed since the arrival of the unexpected guests in her life. Joseph: writing to her out of the blue, after months of no contact, and he thought it was fine to just waltz back into her life, without a care for her and how she felt. She did love him. Not like she used to, it was more like he was familiar to her, so she could trust him over Jonny, who was just there when she was feeling bad about herself; which was quite often nowadays. Joseph had used Jac just like she had used so many before: Joseph, his father and now she could add Jonny to that list. She had begun to have feelings for Jonny though, unusual for Jac Naylor; what were these feelings though? Lust? Love? Guilt? She couldn't be sure. Then there was this baby, this baby that had caused all the commotion. She shook her head; no. It was not this baby's fault; she did not want any bad feelings for this child, like her mother had for her whilst she was growing up. It was then that she realised she had already grown attached to this child, and there was no way she could get rid of it now. She had been worrying about who was going to father this child when she should have been concentrating on the most important part; this baby was hers, and Joseph could not take this away from her.

Joseph sat at home with Harry lying on top of him, fast asleep. He replayed the events of the day through his mind over and over again. He couldn't get his head round any of it. His first day back in Holby and he had punched one of his colleagues that he barely knew and lost the trust of his girlfriend, Jac. He loved her so much, this was why it was so hard for him to accept that the baby she was carrying was not his, but the arrogant Scott who had turned her against him. Joseph was still blaming Jonny, although he knew in the back of his mind that it was not his fault that any of this had happened. If he, Joseph, had stayed in Holby, instead of running away to Penrith to lead a life he knew would never make him happy, none of this would have happened. If he had told Jac that night when he slept with her, that he still loved her, then none of this would have happened. He too could see now how right Jonny was.


	12. Jacha

**Hey everyone :) Thanks for reading and reviewing, love reading your reviews :D Enjoy... xD xx**

Jac hadn't had much sleep last night and so was incredibly annoyed when her alarm clock inconsiderately went off at 6:30. She then remembered yesterday when Joseph was there to switch it off for her; she really must buy a new one like he suggested. She checked her phone and was surprised to see that she had more than one text message and they didn't seem to be from the mobile phone network. The first was from Joseph, obviously: _'Meet for lunch? X'_ She didn't open the next one for a few minutes as she was pondering Joseph's request. She decided she might as well, then she could tell him that she was planning on keeping the baby, and if he didn't like it, then he didn't have to stay with her. Gosh, it even hurt to think it. The next one was from Jonny; _'Meet for lunch? :)'_ she groaned as, at the worst possible time, she was popular for once in her life. She then considered just declining Jonny's offer on the basis that he used a smiley in his text; how cheesy. She would make up her mind after she had read her other texts, just in case she had any better offers, she laughed at the thought. Very surprisingly she did: Sacha had text her at six to tell her he had some news and would she like to grab lunch with him? She smiled as she read this text, as much as she hated to admit it, he was definitely her best friend in the hospital. The final text was from Hanssen, thankfully not an invitation to lunch; something about a meeting about something, blah blah. She could imagine him actually reading the text in his very mono-tonal voice that had the ability to intimidate other consultants, but not her, not Jac Naylor.

She took a shower, leaving her phone on her bed, along with today's outfit of choice: A white blouse underneath a black v-neck jumper, baggy enough to just hide her bump, some skinny smart-casual black pants and flats. Eventually leaving the house at 8:00, she looked sadly at her new motorbike, which stood abandoned in the small garage, rode on very little as she bought it just before she left for America. Her car on the other hand, an old green BMW, was used very rarely; it was now going to be the choice vehicle for a while. Maybe she could get a new one before the baby arrives, she did not like this one very much. For now however, it was her means of travel to work and so she reluctantly strapped in and drove to work.

She strolled on to Darwin calmly, the events of yesterday as far away from her mind as they could possibly be. She walked into her office which she shared with Elliot Hope, who was sat at his desk flicking through the papers covering his desk.

"You know Elliot, it would be a lot easier, if you tidied your desk once in a while. You might even find a cream cake under there!" He gave her a sarcastic smile and continued throwing bits of paper around. Jac shook her head and sat at her own, very tidy, desk. Turning on her computer she found that she had an email from Hanssen saying exactly the same thing as he had in the text; he must really want her at this meeting, she thought.

"Ah ha! I found it!" Jac, startled, looked up at Elliot who walked out of the room with a slight spring in his step, if that was possible for an over weight man with angina.

"Err okay then..." She muttered.

She spent most of the morning in surgery, just where she liked to be. She was in control of the situation, even when the guy started bleeding out. Oliver was assisting and she even let the annoying F1 observe, which she thought was incredibly generous. She had seen both Joseph and Jonny this morning, and told both of them she had to meet Sacha for lunch. That way she was letting them both down equally, and plus she got to talk to Sacha properly for the first time in ages. Apart from that, she didn't have to speak to either of them that much, she had a meeting straight after surgery which would take her all the way to lunch.

She sat down at the cafe and waited for Sacha who didn't take long to come bouncing over from the lift. He seemed very excited and fidgety, but then again this was Sacha. He brought them over coffees, Jac's salad and for himself a large sandwich, some crisps and a chocolte bar. Jac shook her head at this.

"No fruit?" he just grinned manically.

"Chrissie and I are getting married!" Jac almost choked on her lettuce; when she had finally coughed her guts out she simply said, "What?!"

"Well we are going to have to wait a while because I have some even more exciting news," he paused to make sure Jac had no food in her mouth this time.

"Well, Chrissie is pregnant!"

"Oh my gosh Sacha! She was the one who initiated the hug for the first time in their friendship and he was taken by surprise.

"What, Jac Naylor showing human emotions? I don't believe it. What happened to you in America eh? Or is it the fact that a certain registrar is back?"

"Well I think it might be hormones." she looked at him and smiled, then back down at her food. He took a while to register what she had said before exclaiming:

"You're not pregnant too are you?!"

"Shh Sacha! I don't want the whole hospital to know right now. Although most of them probably do, my bump is quite visible in my other new clothes, I'm quite surprised you didn't notice yesterday." her last words were muffled as she was engulfed by another huge bear-hug.

"That's great news Jac! Very surprising, but great! I want to ask you something now. Well, I wanted... no, Chrissie and I both, were wondering, if you would like to be Godmother?" She was also taken aback by this from Sacha so he started to explain, "Well if it wasn't for you and that terrifying motorbike experience, Chrissie and I would not be together right now, so this would be like a thank you." Unfortunately for Jac her emotions worked both ways and at this she began to cry.

"Oh Sacha look what you did!" she managed to say through the tears whilst dabbing at them with a napkin.

"So what's your answer?"

"Of course I would love to Sacha, as long as you and Chrissie provide the same service for my child! Well, I was going to have two of each, let the father decide on his. Oh, that's another thing I wanted to mention and you cannot repeat it. The baby isn't Joseph's." She stopped to let Sacha take in the news.

"Well whose is it then Jac? Are you two not together? I just assumed..."

"It's... don't judge me okay? It's Jonny's, you know that newish nurse on Darwin? Well yeah, him and I had a little thing, nothing serious until now. Me and Joe, well I'm not sure on the situation right now, he's extremely annoyed at the whole thing: he punched Jonny yesterday."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that one!" he chuckled.

"It's not funny. They both hate each other and I don't know what to do! I don't even know how I feel about either of them and now there's this baby." She stopped talking and received yet another hug from Sacha who might might as well have been wearing a 'free hugs' t-shirt today.

"Don't worry about it Jac, it will all work out okay? And whatever happens, I am here for you, right? Don't forget it." He sat back down and she gave him a grateful smile. "Now eat up, remember, you're eating for two now!"


	13. 12 Week Scan

**Yo Yo :P thanks for reviewing everyone, enjoy this chapter and leave reviews if you like it, hate it or have some improvements/suggestions. xD xx**

Four weeks later and Jac was looking a bit more pregnant and had sparked a new batch of gossip around the hospital. This meant people congratulating her in her office, the corridor, the café and even in theatre; she was back to her icy-self and those people learnt that just because she was pregnant, they had no excuse to call her 'Jac': it was Ms Naylor to them. Joseph and Jonny were the only ones who managed to stay on her good side. That was only during the day for Joseph though; he and Jac had decided to stay together, causing many stressful arguments as soon as they left the hospital. They both felt that they had reasons to be angry at the other, but because it was Jac and Joe, they were going to stay together because they loved each other... didn't they? Joe was still annoyed that the baby wasn't his and that she had slept with Jonny in the first place; he just couldn't let this go. Jac was angry that the baby wasn't Joe's mainly because he had used her that night in Penrith. She was also having trouble placing what her feelings for Jonny were. Every time they had an argument, the same things would be brought up again and again, and it wasn't just things from the present. Joe would never get over Jac sleeping with his father and she hated that he left her. At the hospital they acted like the perfect couple; king and queen of Holby, but there were many that could see past this, including Jonny, and feeling the way he did towards Jac, he made sure to annoy Joseph even more.

Today was the day of her 12 week scan; although she was excited, she had to hide it from Joseph, who was not going to be present. She had already asked Jonny, well, she had passed him a note. She was glad that he wanted to be a part of the baby's life and she was going to let him, they had arranged that he would go to all of the scans with her; it was only fair and she doubted Joseph would want to go anyway. On arrival at work she was cornered by St. Trinians, wanting her to read her project on something or other. She was feeling reasonably happy today so she told her to put it on her desk; she would read it... if she had time. This provoked a raised eyebrow from Tara, who was fully expecting an answer in the negative.  
"Now back to work F1 before I change my mind." She said shortly, regaining control of the situation and Tara literally jogged off to the nurses' station. Jonny realised this marked the arrival of Jac Naylor, and stopped swirling on his chair to follow her into her office.

"Hello!" unfortunately for him, Elliot and Joseph were also in the office, talking about a case.

"Err, sorry. Jac, we got a new patient, you coming?" he gestured for her to come out on to the ward, while being watched by an almost scowling Joseph. She left her blazer on the back of her chair and accompanied Jonny out of the room and across to the other side of the ward.

"How is Mo doing?" Jac asked as they walked.

"I went round the other day, she says she's okay but I think she's putting a tough face on. I mean, you can't just give away a baby." Jac nodded in agreement and thought of the last time she saw Mo, and then subconsciously stroked her surgical fingers which were being crushed not long ago.

"Oh, before I forget, the scan is at one. Meet me there?"

"Yep, sure. Okay, this is George Turner, 50 years old was diagnosed with CAD a couple of weeks ago, booked in for a PTCA originally Mo's case but now-"

"Hello Mr Turner, I'm Ms Naylor, CT consultant. Unfortunately your surgeon has had to pass on your case to me, but I can assure you I am perfectly capable, if not more so of your operation." She washed her hands and walked over to the side of his bed.

"Call me George please. Has she had her baby? The other doctor?"

"Yes she had a baby boy not long ago." Jac actually said this with a smile.

"That's lovely! I've just become a granddad can you believe it?!" he reached for his wallet and took a while searching for a picture. He showed Jac a picture of a chubby little baby wearing a bright pink dress.

"Congratulations, I just need to check your breathing. Can you sit forward for me please?" he sat forward but continued to chat in his northern accent.

"She's called Emily, 3 months. " he was beaming with pride and Jac didn't have the heart to ask him to stop chattering away, so she did her best while he was telling her the what a cheeky monkey she is.

"Okay Nurse Maconie, can you do the usual bloods, LTFs, Us and Es, FBCs and I want an ECG and chest x-ray. I want him on half-hourly obs."

"And the magic word?" Jac raised her eyebrows then said please very sarcastically.

"Right George, you are booked in for theatre this afternoon but until then you are nil-by-mouth as you know. I will check up on you soon."

"Thank you Ms Naylor, and congratulations on your little one." He winked and nodded to her bump.

"Thanks." she smiled as she walked away to join Jonny at the nurses station. He was on the phone about getting the tests done for George. It was at this point that Joseph joined them.

"Hi." He sneaked around Jac and planted a kiss on her cheek. She thought this to be simply for Jonny's benefit and didn't return one.

"Joe I want Tara to assist you today with the Mitral Valve op. She needs a bit of experience and I have a harder case so I want Oliver, okay?"

"Err yeah okay, what's your case?"

"Guy with CAD, one of Mo's."

"It's not that hard, surely for a brilliant surgeon like you?" he was obviously trying to get Tara out of theatre with him.

"Is this to soften me up so you don't have to handle St. Trinians? Look at her, she's… lovely." They laughed as they both looked over at Tara who was badgering Mr Hope about some patient's diagnosis, as per.

"Sorry Joe, but even a 'brilliant surgeon like me' needs Valentine on this one, so you're stuck with her." He pulled a fake gun to his head before chasing after Tara.

It was soon time for Jac's scan and Jonny could not handle the excitement. He was first down to gynaecology and obstetrics and had to wait for Jac for ten minutes. It was worth the wait though. He eventually saw the picture of his baby on screen and his face lit up; for once in his life he was speechless. Jac was amazed at his reaction and didn't spoil the moment by actually saying all of the sarcastic comments that came to mind. They printed of six pictures, one for each of them, and then the Godparents. Jonny hadn't told his family yet, he was waiting until they found out the sex of the baby. Jac had decided that it was most practical to find out the sex because she needed to know what colours to paint the nursery in her new house. Over lunch they discussed baby names and Jonny told her that he wanted Mo to be Godmother, but he didn't want to tell her just yet. The Godfather would be a difficult one to decide so he said he would get back to her on that one. During this time Jac found herself thinking that she was glad Jonny was the father.


	14. A Jack Russell

**Hi everyone! Thanks for reviewing, going to keep you guessing with this short chapter, enjoy and review pleaseee xD Also really hurt my hand the other day, and depending on the outcome of my x-ray, updates may take a bit longer. So sorry about that, I guess it will teach me not to dance in the kitchen in future! :') xx **

_16 weeks gone_

Joseph drove a larger Jac to her new home. It was a bit further away from the hospital but more practical than her flat, it had three bedrooms, one was going to be the baby's nursery, and perhaps they could share with Harry if Joe ever moved in. Jac would have the biggest bedroom and then the smallest would be her study. Downstairs there was a large kitchen and dining area together where they would all eat by all she meant her and the baby until her and Joseph were ready to move in together, and by ready she meant if they ever did. She had two living rooms, one would be a play room and the other would be the lounge; there was also a small basement which would be a laundry room and general storage area. Finally there was a large garden round the back of the house where she imagined a swing, maybe a tree-house and other things where the children would play and she and Joseph could sit on the patio. Then in the summer he could do a barbecue, and maybe they would have the neighbours round or put out a paddling pool. She imagined the life standing here with a protective hand on her bump; she was only viewing it again and showing Joseph round, she wasn't moving in until next week, when she was going to enlist the help of all of her Holby colleagues to decorate. Who knew Jac Naylor would one day live on the outskirts of the city, with a child and a man in her life? Certainly not her.

Eventually they both had to leave and go to work. Holding hands they walked back to the car, having a rare peaceful moment where neither of them talked about the baby or Jonny which would lead to an argument. Instead Jac started a conversation about their futures.

"So in five years time, where do you see yourself?" She smiled and turned down the radio.

"Well, I see myself with you, in that house. We definitely need a dog! Maybe a child of our own." At this she scoffed, but seeing his face quickly added,

"Well, not so quickly after this one, but I want a child with you to. Also, can we get a Jack Russell? They have short fur so easy to clean and are reasonably cute." It was Joseph's turn to laugh at Jac who never before had uttered the word 'cute' without a sarcastic tone. She playfully punched him on the arm and he pretended to pull a sad face.

"Okay, okay! A Jack Russell and three children! Domestic Jac? Or will you do a Connie and hire nannies and cleaners?" he winked at her.

"Well as long as we still have any money left! Three kids, a dog and that house, I might have to take up another job!" As much as she joked, Jac could not hide the fact that she was looking forward to the future, and at times like these, when they weren't fighting about this baby or Jonny, she could only see herself living it with one man... and that was Joseph. They arrived at work and walked hand-in-hand across the car park and didn't let go until they got to Darwin.


	15. Receiving Hospital

**Sorry for the lateness of the update, NO INTERNET! D: Anyway, enjoy le chapter and pleeeeassssee review xD ... xx**

19 Weeks

At about halfway through her pregnancy Jac was beginning to make serious plans. Her new house was being decorated by a team of highly-skilled professionals (Joseph, Jonny and Sacha) each working on a different day due to work commitments and Jonny's desire not to be in the house at the same time as Joseph for fear of his life. It was coming together nicely, the living room had been done and was browns and creams; the baby would not be allowed in this room, Jac thought. The kitchen and dining area was almost finished and was just how Jac wanted it; she was going to learn how to cook whilst on maternity leave, surely a baby wouldn't take up that much of her time and she would be bored without work, so she might as well. Far from finished was the baby's room. Jac wanted to wait until she knew the sex of the baby before painting it a traditional blue or pink. She was also planning on Disney characters being painted on the walls by her friend; she had it all planned out. She was beginning to get very excited about finding out the gender of her child because then she could go on a shopping spree for tiny clothes with slogans about how much they loved their mum and dad. Strangely enough, this is still Jac Naylor we are talking about! She was starting to act like the stereotypical new mother she loved to mock; talking to her bump, getting excited over baby names (except the ones Jonny decided on) and picking out toys. She couldn't wait for the arrival of baby Naylor. That was it's name until the gender had been discovered in a few days time; although the names had been narrowed down to three for each gender after what seemed like hours of deliberation and Jac laughing at the random names Jonny came out with.

Three days before her scan there was a major incident and Holby had been designated the receiving hospital; this meant all hands on deck. Jac found herself driving to work in paint-stained scruffy clothes; she hadn't bothered to change as Elliot's voice sounded a bit higher and more anxious than usual. She was met on Darwin by Joseph who greeted her with a tired smile, indicating that they were already rushed off their feet. Mo was in theatre with Ollie, Elliot was on his way in, Tara was being helpful for once and was finding patients beds, Jac noticed her snapping at a couple of people, "Ah I taught her well." She thought and then turned back to Joseph who was trying to tell her something.

"Okay, huge explosion on a motorway, stuff in the back of a lorry or something. So we are treating anything; non-referral policy is out of the window right now, we are treating anyone who comes through those doors as best we can. Less urgent cases are being sent to AAU, us and Keller are more serious. We are in the process of sending electives home, rescheduling them, mostly that's what the nurses are doing, but whatever, it's everyone's job." He was slowly losing breath as he talked very quickly when nervous and stressed.

"Okay, okay, calm down Joe, go take a break in my office for five minutes and sort yourself out. You!" a nearby nurse was summoned looking terrified, "I want you to try and contact Mr Hope, see where he is. Also, where is Nurse Maconie?"

"Err I'm not sure, I think they were talking about him before… Mr Byrne and someone else." She scurried off to call Elliot. Jac went straight to her office.

"Where's Jonny?" she barked at Joseph who was taken aback to say the least.

"Not sure, we have tried getting hold of him, last I know he was at home not long ago. I can keep trying to get hold of him, probably got his phone on silent."

"No, I'll get one of the nurses to do it, I need you back on the ward when you're ready." she left the room and found the nervous nurse.

"Can you try and get hold of Jonny Maconie for me please, and keep trying until you do?" the nurse appreciated the calmer and quieter tone Jac used and actually smiled at her.

"Right away Ms Naylor, by the way, Mr Hope will be here in five minutes."

Jac set about categorising the injuries of people. Then at the sight of Elliot she passed on all of her knowledge before departing for an urgent operation.

When she was finished she knew something was wrong almost immediately. Elliot was comforting a crying Mo, and Joseph was stood next to a trolley white as a sheet. She ran to the trolley, before everything went black and she crumpled to the floor. A blood covered Jonny was being resuscitated by a shouting Michael Spence.

"Jac? Hey, are you okay?" she woke up on the sofa in the relatives room. A fuzzy figure stood in front of her which she soon recognised to be Oliver.

"Err, hi, yeah I'm okay. Help me up?" He helped her sit up and she readjusted her eyes to the room. Then she recalled what had happened as though she had run straight into a brick wall.

"Oh God, how's Jonny?" She stood up and swayed before being steadied by the strong arms of Oliver.

"Mr Hope and Mr Spence are operating on him now..." He stood uncomfortably beside her, still holding her up.

"Right, thanks Valentine, but can I have my waist back now?"

"Err yeah, I'll be off then. You need to get checked out though, 'cause of the baby and stuff." After she nodded he hurried out of the room fast enough so Jac could cry in privacy. Eventually toughening up, she left the room and entered the ward, which had a more sombre tone. She busied herself with work, parroting what the rest of the staff was doing; she was oblivious to Joseph watching her on the other side of the room.

**Okay guys, opinions PM me or in a review: ****_who are we shipping for this particular fic? Jonny or Joseph_****? I have a couple of ideas for both but I really want your views xD xx**


	16. For Our Baby

**Hey hey hey everyone! Thanks for the comments, I have an idea of where I am going to take this, sorry if Jac gets with the wrong guy for you! ;) Anyway, just a bit of a filler. Started back at college and so last night it was essay vs fanfic, awkward...**

Reluctantly Jac went to her scan; after being forced to by Sacha, who was worried about her feinting and the fact she had still not been to see someone. Jonny was in a comatose state and the odds of him making it were fifty-fifty. Joseph had been careful not to upset her during the past two days because he saw how vulnerable she was. Inside Joseph was panicking; the way Jac had reacted made him believe in his paranoia that she had feelings for Jonny. He tried to convince himself that it was just because he was the father of his child, but every time he thought this he quickly felt resentment, and then guilt at thinking negative thoughts about the man lying in between life and death and so either way, Joseph could not win. He didn't accompany her to her scan, he decided that him being there might upset her, as his presence had in the past 48 hours.

Considering he had forced her to go to the scan, it was only right that he accepted when she asked he go with her. She half-explained the situation to her obstetrician before being entombed by tears, provoking a comforting arm from Sacha, and his assistance in telling the rest of the story. After hearing the tale, the doctor reassured Jac there was nothing to worry about by checking the baby. Everything was perfect.

"Now do you want to know the sex?" This was the moment Jac had been most excited for, but this was now shrouded in anxiousness and worry. She nodded slowly and for the first time her mouth allowed a smile to form. The doctor moved the equipment round on the gel and got ready to tell Jac.

"You have got yourself a healthy baby boy." Jac gasped and burst into tears once again; the happy half tainted by the sadness that the father wasn't here and could share this news with her. She decided she would go and visit him straight from here; people were always saying that those in comas can hear things, it was worth a shot.

The ward was less heaving than previous days, lots of patients and relatives had gone home, a few had received such serious injuries that they now lay many floors under. Some were still around on Darwin, a fraction in a similar state as Jonny, others set to go home soon, thankful they were walking away from this with their lives. This was one of a few incidents that had affected Holby; everyone could remember losing one of the finest young doctors to a train wreck, just over a year ago. Jac thought of Ollie now and the memories this might have brought to him. She reached the side room without anyone bothering her with a patient, or some paperwork or a project she had yet to read. Emma, one of the nurses was checking him over, but Jac knew the results of this examination would be just the same as the last; she feared they would be worse. She let the nurse finish before entering the room; she didn't want to arouse too much suspicion- only a few knew the truth about this baby. She crept in as though he was just asleep, she sat on the chair in silence for a few minutes, unsure of what to say. She had to be on the ward soon so she had better start talking soon.

"Hey." she just thought about how silly she looked right now and laughed for the first time in three days. "So, I went to my scan before. The baby is perfect she said. You need to get better okay? You need to help me paint the baby's room. You need to wake up for our little boy. Please Jonny." she began to sob and realised it was time to leave. She stood up from her chair and turned to face the door, where Joseph stood with a sad smile.

**Please review guys xx**


	17. Losing Focus

**Hey everyone! Sorry about the late update, I have been super busy with work and stuff :( Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter, and I will definitely update sooner! Please Review xD xx**

Jac left the room with Joseph's arm around her shoulders, while her head lay on his. He kissed the top of her head like a child; she looked like one at this moment, even pregnant she had such a frail frame, and the tear tracks down her face did not help.

The ward was quiet and Joseph had disappeared while Elliot was busy in their office, so Jac sat alone at the nurses station, pretending to be on the computer while really peering into Jonny's room at regular intervals, as if a certain number of seconds between glares would make him wake up. Four minutes hadn't worked so she was going to try five now. She stared at the clock on the computer screen, oblivious to the blaring of an alarm signalling that there was trouble with a patient. Mo ran from the opposite side of the ward tapping Jac on the back; she jumped, registering what was going on. She got out of her chair and waddled over to the patient who was crashing. Mo was doing fine on her own but Jac watched over her in case she needed help. She didn't however, and the patient was fine, Jac let relief flash across her face before moving to let an irate Mo past.

"Look Jac, you need to sort yourself out. You're out of focus. I get it, Jonny and everything but ya' know what? It's the same for me and I still manage to do my job. So snap out of it yeah?" Jac stood dumbfounded staring at Mo for a moment, registering what she had just said to her. The Ice-Queen losing her concentration over a man, and it wasn't even Joseph; she nodded at Mo and walked to the staffroom.

Joseph was sat at the table drinking coffee and looking through some papers. She went and sat next to him quietly; he didn't even notice. She coughed quietly and he jumped, spilling a small amount of the drink over the crisp white papers.

"Oh, sorry Joe, here let me clean them." She grabbed them off him despite his efforts for her not to see what he had previously concealed under his arm.

"What's this? Manchester General, why are you looking at these?"

"I was just looking, they... they have an job vacancy for a CT consultant, I was going to see-"

"What, why?! You've come back to go swanning off again!"

"No, it's not like that Jac, just listen. I think it would be for the best. It's obvious to me that you have feelings for Jonny, but because I'm here it's like you're fighting with yourself. When was the last time you ate? When was the last time you went home?!"

"I... that's not anything! Joe I need you, please, don't go again." her voice was quiet and desperate.

"Need is different to love." and with that he walked out of the door leaving her alone at the table with the papers in her shaking hands. She felt like crying but the tears wouldn't come, she was all out; she didn't know how to feel right now but decided that it wasn't important, Mo was right, she needed to be more focused.

Feeling light-headed she left the room, she must have stood up too quickly. She somehow made it to the locker rooms. She looked into the mirror on her locker door and was shocked at the face looking back at her; her hair was scraped back into a pony tail but it was greasy, well she hadn't been home for these past few days. There were bags underneath her lifeless eyes and her usually brilliantly pale skin was discoloured from malnutrition after not eating much more than an apple over the whole time period of Jonny being in a coma. She checked her watch, only an hour before she would usually pretend to go home but instead hide in the on-call room. Not today. The old Jac needed to be here because right now she was a mess. Jac decided to go home early, Elliot was an old softie and so getting him to cover for her pretending she was tired or sick was easy. She turned to leave, but was halted by a panting Mo, who was running towards her.

"He's...waking...up!" she shouted between breaths.

"What?!" Mo grabbed Jac's skinny wrist and led her to the side room. Jac looked through the gap in the door while everyone else crowded round his bed, he finally caught her eye after scanning the room and tried to smile beneath his oxygen mask, Jac couldn't see this but the smile on her face was enough for the both of them.


End file.
